A Couple Of Things I’ll be taking away from 2021
Isn’t it crazy 2021 is coming to an end? The year flew by so fast. When I write the date I still mistakenly write 2020 instead of 2021. Probably because 2019 feels like last year yet the memories seem so far ago.
I spent a chunk of 2021 in my head and focusing on having meaningful conversations with myself, friends, and strangers. Yeah even strangers, I figured I might never meet the taxi driver again so I might as well have the most intimate and vulnerable conversations with him instead of a boring ‘ol ride.
Looking back at the conversations, I decided to make a list of lessons I’ve learned and share with you. I will also like to know your thoughts on them as well as some of the lessons you’ve learned this year so please share with me.
Is it too early to reflect on the year? Maybe? but why not right.I’ll try to keep it short and sweet yet elaborate on each lesson enough for you to understand. In no particular order:
1. People hardly change. When I say this I don’t mean what they have for breakfast every morning or their fashion choices, I mean their core values. The beliefs they have and have carried with them all their lives. They can conceal these values but it doesn’t mean they are not there so take people as they are. You can’t change them and they most likely are not willing to unless they choose to. Even at that, their old ways might show up in compromising times. People don’t just stop the good they do, and do they think the bad is bad?
2. People always have their bias and a little bit of internalized sexism, ageism, racism, tribalism, and other isms. Let’s be real, we all think of ours as the superior. Besides society has always been formulated to be biased towards certain demographics and we were raised around that. Thankfully we are now unlearning and relearning but of course, these beliefs manifest unconsciously sometimes.
3. We have all done something tainted, nobody is a saint it’s what you are doing about it now that matters. Are you remorseful and have you repented? Or are you still on the act? That’s what matters. We all have our red flags.
4. You need to have a plan but be flexible enough to let things flow.
5. Prioritise in all that you do. Everything even your emotions, your thoughts, daily tasks, and the people in your life. Prioritizing will make you more intentional about what you allow in your life.
6. Do your thing, they’ll laugh then give it some time, they’ll copy. No matter what it is or the odds stacked against you, you have to advocate for yourself especially when you’re different, people will criticize and laugh cause they don’t understand it and that’s fine, it’s not theirs to understand anyway. Keep doing your thing.
7. Kindness is the most important quality, it shouldn’t be an option. This seems like common sense but it isn’t. Life is hard as it is, most people are masking their depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and worries with smiles and laughter. Even when you are not in the mood, dig deep for a little kindness and share it with someone. Be gentle and affirm strangers. You have no idea how many times a little smile or compliment from a stranger has elevated my mood. If you see someone doing something well, tell them.
8. How you feel and your gut instincts will help you navigate through life. I don’t know why people overlook and underestimate their feelings. Maybe cause they might confuse it as self-sabotage. I think the main difference is the root. If your feelings are caused by something then hell no it’s not sabotaging, it could be as simple as recognizing a pattern from experience, etc. Whatever it is, you need to let it marinade and trust it.
9. What you think is just that, what you think. There’s no measure for what you believe or think, heck even the values you hold tight are meaningless. Minimal for one person, is excessive to another or bland to someone else. A good act isn’t good for everyone. For example, you give your last dime to someone in need. While some might think it’s a selfless act, it might be stupid to others. There’s always going to be someone more hardworking, nicer, prettier, etc than you, but how do you know they are truly better off or how do you know you are better? There’s no measure or scale for these things. It’s all relative. Next time someone criticizes or compliments you, take it with a pinch of salt.
I have learnt many more lessons but these are the ones that have stuck with me the most. I really can’t wait to hear back from you.
I love you forever and a day more.